Throwback: My Apple Tree (pt9)

I didn't find JD  that day or the next day or the next week. I would hear little bits of information about him. The kids by the playground said they saw him at the liquor store. Old Mr. Jones said he saw him by the Welfare Building. Some of the teenagers by the building said they saw him at the high school and......well I was just on a wild goose chase. After a few days of searching I took a break but I wasn't giving up. I would never give up on my mother though somehow I felt like she had given up on me.

It was Saturday morning in the summer and the shop was closed which meant I had plenty of time to search for JD. As I walked to the down stairs floor my Father mumbled a " Good morning," to me over his cup of coffee. I didn't respond and he didn't expect me to. I was still mad at him for lying to me, for not telling me that my mother was dead. I walked past with out so much as a sideways glance towards the kitchen. There I ate two slices of toast before leaving my house.
 " Now where will I start my search today?" I said to myself walking down the street. I had been coming to my Dad's shop for a couple of summers now so I knew the neighbor hood fairly well. I walked down on 33rd street and made a left, from there I headed towards Madison Avenue. After that I was just walking, no longer looking at the street signs. My feet guided me where ever they felt was  right. My eyes were cloudy and distant as I thought abut my mom. Our last memories together flooded my mind.
 We were sitting on a bench by the train station. I kept pestering her about why we were here. She was mostly quiet and gave one word answers to my question. I loved my Mom's dark thick hair and braided it as we waited for the train. After a good thirty minutes wait there was a loud tooting. I looked at my Mom and asked her what was making all the noise. She took in a breath and then exhaled.
 It was winter so her breath became misty. Then, she stood as the train just came into sight. I looked at her. She picked me up from the seat and placed me on the floor. She straightened my collar and pulled at my sleeves. "Mommy?" No answer. The train sped into the station and then came to a halt.  There was a call for all passengers. My mother bent down so that we were at eye level. Her eyes were watery. "Mommy, don't cry. Whats wrong?"
After a few deep breaths she could speak. "Baby Cakes, I'm going to go away for awhile."
 " Where you going Momma?"
"Well, I'm not really going anywhere. You are, Baby. You gonna go visit Grandma for awhile. Do you remember her?"
I shook my head.
 "Course, you don't. You was too young last you saw her. That don't matter though. I'm sure you will get along fine with her when ya meet again."
" But I want to stay with you. Mommy."
" I know. I know but Mommy can't take care of you anymore."
"Why?"
"I just can't." a tear fell down her cheek, " I just can't."
" But why?"
She began to shake as tears burst from her eyes. " I want to take care of you, I do , but theres somethings, Mommy's gotta handle before she can take care of you. You understand don't you?"
I nodded, "I guess."
"Good." She handed me my ticket and suite case and shooed me onto the train as its doors opened. She waved at me as the train started up its engine. I smashed my face against the window and waved back. I kept waving until I couldn't see her anymore. If I had only known that that would be the last time I saw her there would have been so much I would have said. So much.
" Hey JD!"
 The name broke into my memory. I looked up and saw the man who had sold my mother death walk into the bakery shop. What was the special that day? Cinnamon cookies and hazel doughnuts. Ironic, huh?