I placed my pencil on the desk and waited for my class mates to finish the test. There wasn't anything to look at except the wall. It was cold, hard and blank. Just like me. After Thomas was taken to the local jail, he was charged, sentenced and transported to a prison farther up north. Word was that he was serving life. My thoughts drifted to the last time I had seen Thomas. He was wide eyed, holding onto the bar windows and being taken away an innocent man though he would be charged as if he was already guilty. From that moment I knew I was never meant to be happy. Everything in my life had been taken away from me. Everyone I loved. My mother, my grandmother,my home, the apple tree, Charollette, Jeremy and now Thomas. My eyes stung with tears and I balled my fists trying to be strong,but I wasn't. I wasn't strong. I was weak and dead inside because what was the point of living when you had no one to care about? And when there was no one to care about you?
The bell rang. I got up and left out of the class room,not really feeling the other kids as they pushed me aside. The warm spring sun hit my face, but that warmth did not warm my body. The school I attended was only a few blocks from home. The other girls wouldn't get home for few hours. I didn't know where they went or what they did. It was like some sort of mystery. One time I tried to follow them, but didn't have the courage to go all the way. All I saw was one girl, Courtney, kissing some boy. My first instinct was to run away, but I stayed. I watched as their lips felt one another. As their soft light flesh melted together like butter and as they explored the others mouth. I had never been kissed by a boy until I met Thomas and when we kissed I didn't even get to enjoy it. How could a girl enjoy her first kiss when the boy she loved was behind bars? So close, but so far because she'd never be able to touch him? I felt my lips," And I'll never get the chance to kiss him again." I said to myself. I looked up. The house was just coming into my sight. I'd go in, do my homework,eat dinner alone,probably suffer some teasing at the hands of the other girls and go to sleep with tears in my heart like I did every night. Life was becoming a schedule,a routine with no glimpses of happiness in it. "I must be cursed," I thought at the corner, " Everyone I care about....something bad happens to them. Is that why Mother left me?" "Excuse me," said a voice from behind. I turned around to come face to face with a man well into his forties. He was a good height with dark skin, soft eyes, broad shoulders and a thick head of hair. I took in a deep breath. He smelled like honey suckles. "Yes,Sir, " I said to him. He smiled, "Well, I can tell you've been raised right." "Thank you, Sir." "Young Lady, by any chance is your name Ginger?" I nodded , "Yes, Sir. May I ask who you are?" "Ginger A. Cooper?" " How do you know my name,Sir?" He grinned, "I'm your Daddy."
"Sir, you have to understand it will take a few months before the paper work can run through. After, it's all checked out then you may be able to take your daughter home." said the House Mistress. My Father nodded, " Alright, fine. I don't see why it should take that long? She's my kin after all and I gotta enough money to support her. My convenience store brings in more than enough." The mistress put on a strained smile, " Of course,but your daughter just finished taking the SAT. We want to get her results back before she leaves. This is her senior year in high school, you know?" Daddy nodded, "Yeah, I know. I'm sure she got a perfect score! My girl's smart as a whip just like her Mama." My heart stopped. I turned to him, "Is Mama with you?" I could see the lines in his face sink, " Naw. Mama's not with me." "Where is she?" I asked as if I didn't already know the answer. The excitement in his eyes died down, "I don't know. I saw her about a year or so ago. Came to the store, saying she wanted to get you back. I had been thinking 'bout it for awhile too so we talked for awhile and then she said she'd be right back. She left and...well, I haven't seen her since." Guilt ran through his face like butter through a knife. I had to ask him, " Why'd you leave Daddy? Mama never told me why. I thought you just didn't love us enough. Why'd you leave me and Mama to rot, Daddy?" I didn't even realize I was crying. He starred at me wide eyed, coughed and straightened his tie. " I was scared, Ginger. I was young, dumb and scared. Now I know it's gonna be hard for you to forgive ya Daddy, but I want you to know that there wasn't a day that wen by that I ain't think about my little girl. Oh, Ginger.I saw you when you was born. You was so tiny...could barely open your little eyes. Ha! "He was quite for a moment. "But when you did...when you opened you eyes and I saw how big and bright they were....like stars....I knew, I knew I ain't deserve you." He covered his face with two big hands, but I could still see the salty liquid fall from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Ginger," he broke through his sobs, "I'm sorry,but I'm ready now. I probably still don't deserve you, but I'm ready to take care of you now. And I promise I ain't never gonna leave you again, Baby Girl." I reacted on instinct. Something in me told me to hug this man. My father, a stranger. I needed to wrap my scrawny arms around his big body and let him know that I forgave him. He hugged me back and I don't think I have ever been so relieved to hug someone in my life. It was just from that moment I knew I wasn't going to be so alone in life anymore. I thanked God because it could only be him that gave me the gift of sharing life with another.
The bell rang. I got up and left out of the class room,not really feeling the other kids as they pushed me aside. The warm spring sun hit my face, but that warmth did not warm my body. The school I attended was only a few blocks from home. The other girls wouldn't get home for few hours. I didn't know where they went or what they did. It was like some sort of mystery. One time I tried to follow them, but didn't have the courage to go all the way. All I saw was one girl, Courtney, kissing some boy. My first instinct was to run away, but I stayed. I watched as their lips felt one another. As their soft light flesh melted together like butter and as they explored the others mouth. I had never been kissed by a boy until I met Thomas and when we kissed I didn't even get to enjoy it. How could a girl enjoy her first kiss when the boy she loved was behind bars? So close, but so far because she'd never be able to touch him? I felt my lips," And I'll never get the chance to kiss him again." I said to myself. I looked up. The house was just coming into my sight. I'd go in, do my homework,eat dinner alone,probably suffer some teasing at the hands of the other girls and go to sleep with tears in my heart like I did every night. Life was becoming a schedule,a routine with no glimpses of happiness in it. "I must be cursed," I thought at the corner, " Everyone I care about....something bad happens to them. Is that why Mother left me?" "Excuse me," said a voice from behind. I turned around to come face to face with a man well into his forties. He was a good height with dark skin, soft eyes, broad shoulders and a thick head of hair. I took in a deep breath. He smelled like honey suckles. "Yes,Sir, " I said to him. He smiled, "Well, I can tell you've been raised right." "Thank you, Sir." "Young Lady, by any chance is your name Ginger?" I nodded , "Yes, Sir. May I ask who you are?" "Ginger A. Cooper?" " How do you know my name,Sir?" He grinned, "I'm your Daddy."
"Sir, you have to understand it will take a few months before the paper work can run through. After, it's all checked out then you may be able to take your daughter home." said the House Mistress. My Father nodded, " Alright, fine. I don't see why it should take that long? She's my kin after all and I gotta enough money to support her. My convenience store brings in more than enough." The mistress put on a strained smile, " Of course,but your daughter just finished taking the SAT. We want to get her results back before she leaves. This is her senior year in high school, you know?" Daddy nodded, "Yeah, I know. I'm sure she got a perfect score! My girl's smart as a whip just like her Mama." My heart stopped. I turned to him, "Is Mama with you?" I could see the lines in his face sink, " Naw. Mama's not with me." "Where is she?" I asked as if I didn't already know the answer. The excitement in his eyes died down, "I don't know. I saw her about a year or so ago. Came to the store, saying she wanted to get you back. I had been thinking 'bout it for awhile too so we talked for awhile and then she said she'd be right back. She left and...well, I haven't seen her since." Guilt ran through his face like butter through a knife. I had to ask him, " Why'd you leave Daddy? Mama never told me why. I thought you just didn't love us enough. Why'd you leave me and Mama to rot, Daddy?" I didn't even realize I was crying. He starred at me wide eyed, coughed and straightened his tie. " I was scared, Ginger. I was young, dumb and scared. Now I know it's gonna be hard for you to forgive ya Daddy, but I want you to know that there wasn't a day that wen by that I ain't think about my little girl. Oh, Ginger.I saw you when you was born. You was so tiny...could barely open your little eyes. Ha! "He was quite for a moment. "But when you did...when you opened you eyes and I saw how big and bright they were....like stars....I knew, I knew I ain't deserve you." He covered his face with two big hands, but I could still see the salty liquid fall from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Ginger," he broke through his sobs, "I'm sorry,but I'm ready now. I probably still don't deserve you, but I'm ready to take care of you now. And I promise I ain't never gonna leave you again, Baby Girl." I reacted on instinct. Something in me told me to hug this man. My father, a stranger. I needed to wrap my scrawny arms around his big body and let him know that I forgave him. He hugged me back and I don't think I have ever been so relieved to hug someone in my life. It was just from that moment I knew I wasn't going to be so alone in life anymore. I thanked God because it could only be him that gave me the gift of sharing life with another.
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