What I've Come to Know

Hello, readers! I know it's been a few days since my last post but things have been pretty crazy over here. I'm getting a few replies back from publishing houses about my book and am now looking into agents, as well. Let's keep our fingers crossed! I hope you all have been doing well and getting much more sleep than I have (my schedule is so messed up!).

So, you may not know it, but you've seen the girl in the photo before. I've posted pictures of her, myself and my other best friend on the blog in the past. Actually, you can find us all posing as Charlie's angels here! Her name is Rebecca and she has been my bffne (best friend forever and eternity) since our freshman year in high school.



Let me give you a quick review of my high school years. If you look at the high school social hierarchy, I wasn't too far up the ladder. I mean, I wasn't at the very bottom, but I sure as hell wasn't seeing the top either. My love for reading, writing and learning combined with my social awkwardness ( I seriously never knew what the "cool"thing to say was) got me, immediately, labeled as a nonpopular. This label stuck through out high school, despite my many efforts to shake it off. So, I pretty much trudged through those lovely four years.

Now, my friend, Rebecca, had a different experience. She was much higher on the social ladder than me and so, when we became friends I was labeled her side kick. I guess you could say this improved my standing a bit. I, at least, was friends with a popular now, but I was still as lame as they came. Rebecca was gorgeous, smart, quirky and attracted male admiration like honey attracts flies. I remember seeing guys approach her all the time. Whether it was in the classroom, the lunch room, in the halls or on the grounds,a guy was always after her. I,also, remember how they would never speak to me. No friendly smile or nod of existence. No, I, at least to them, was not even there or was not important enough for them to acknowledge. Actually, several of them that were her admirers were,also, my friends. However, as time passed they realized, that from day one, I had been labeled a nonpop and so, they began to ignore me. Ouch! Rebecca will argue against me about this until her face turns blue. In response to her argument I just point out the fact that she dated three of the hottest guys in our high school. That, usually, gets me an eye roll.

Besides the guys, the teachers also loved her. She took all A class level courses while my classes were half A class and half B. Therefore, I was immediately known as an average. She, on the other hand, was known as an above average. To sum it up I was a dunderhead and she was Mr. Peabody.So, she received the teacher's admiration. I received their tolerance. I remember the day that a particularly douche-bag of a teacher went on a rant (that he disguised as a friendly joke) about how Rebecca was so much better than me. I just smiled and nodded. What else could I really do? What he was saying was true, right?

Becs, as I like to call her, was commonly known throughout our school as the"white girl with an attitude," "the cool white girl," and the most frequently used one "the white girl with a black girl's booty." If you can't guess, these are positive labels. Even the "classy" hood black girls with their long weaves, fake eye lashes and overdone makeup loved Rebecca. Me? Not so much. I guess I wasn't enough of a "sister" for them, but Becs was. She was even better at being black than me. That made me feel great.

Well, being so well liked, I never thought Becs had much to complain about. I mean, she had personal issues like everyone did, but in a way she wasn't even human to me. I know that sounds weird, but she was more of this ideal to be looked up to. I loved her, cared about her and would listen to her problems earnestly, but I would always think to myself "you don't have it that bad." Now high school is over. We've grown up some, no longer the hormone imbalanced kids trying to find their place in the world (now were hormone balanced adults trying to find their place in the world).

As I've matured my perspective on things has changed along with my beliefs and concepts about society and the individuals that make it up. I now realize that Becs is just like me: a thought that wasn't fathomable in high school. She actually is human, not some porcelain figurine placed on a pedestal. She has dreams and hopes like me. She wants to travel. She wants to escape. What I thought was male admiration in high school was actually harassment. Her life is not cookie cutter. She has her insecurities. She has her fears. She has her flaws. She has her dark times. The ideal girl from high school is nothing but flesh, bone and emotion. Only recently have I realized how human Becs really is and how similar we really are in our struggles and goals. Honestly, it blew my mind. I was so blind before, but now I see, that all along she was my best friend, my twin, a permanent in my life. I am very thankful for her and am looking forward to going on many adventures with my bffne.

Your Turn: Can any of you relate to this? Have you ever had a friend who seemed to live the perfect life? How did you feel when you realized their lives weren't perfect? Who are the permanents in your life? I wanna know! Talk to me!