How NOT To Approach A Woman Way # 3

Hello, readers! The week is almost over. Thank you! My 12 hour shifts have been killing me. Almost time to relax. :) Any way, this is the third post in my little mini series this week. I'll add more to this series next week. I hope you all have been enjoying my blog and continue to do so. If not, then leave me a comment and let me know why. And even if you have enjoyed my posts, your comments are still welcome. Alright, let's just get straight to the topic of this post, if you all are alright with that.



Men, do not grocery list! Okay, so what do I mean grocery list? I mean when you are so nervous or desperate to impress someone, during the first encounter, you immediately starting trying to convince them that you are qualified for the position (in this case that position is love interest). You start listing facts about yourself hoping that maybe one thing you say will impress the "interviewer" (woman you approached). Perhaps to some this is a sure fire plan, but what may seem like an ordered and planned strategy, actually, comes out as chaotic word vomit. You're literally ( well not literally literally) puking your good qualities all over the person you are tying to impress. Now, we all know that old saying. Too much of a good thing is bad. This is a perfect example of that.

Now, I understand that nerves can affect performance. It happens to everyone, so don't feel bad. Honestly, I don't think there are many people who don't get nervous when they're putting something on the line. The key is not to not ever get nervous. The key is to control those nerves. So, when you're approaching a woman and your heart begins to soar like a rocket, do this: (1) stop (2) breathe (3) and think. And when I say "think" I don't mean over think because that leads to a delayed reaction which usually leads to no action or a missed chance. Usually, your first decision is the best one. Allow me to set up a scenario...

A man sees a woman in a bar. He's nervous, but courageous. He approaches her. He introduces himself and after a little causal chit chat he says the following: "Yeah, I work at a law firm. It's a pretty good job. It's actually not as busy as you would think. I have a lot of free time. Usually, I work out. I'm a health and fitness nut. It takes  a lot of dedication and I'm a really dedicated person. That's what got me through college. Hard work and dedication. I still hang out with a few of my college buds. I'm very social so, I like to keep in touch with my old pals. We're supportive of each other. They always say I'm a good listener..." This bit of conversation would take, maybe a minute to say. Within that minute the woman has found out the man has the following good qualities...

(1)  he has a good job
(2) has a lot of free time ( to spend with her)
(3) he takes care of himself (heath and fitness)
(4) he's dedicated
(5) he's hard working
(6) he's social
(7) he's sentimental
(8) he's supportive
(9) he's a good listener.

Can you say information overload? The woman would probably feel pressured and begins her plan of escape. Have you ever heard these familiar lines? "I have to run to the bathroom." She never comes back. "I'm waiting for some girl friends. Sorry, got to go." She leaves out of the front door alone. "Oh...that's nice." She nods her head and looks around the room for an excuse to ditch you.

If the man had used the sbt (stop, breathe, think) strategy in the scenario above, I believe things would have turned out differently. Let's apply it...

He's nervous, but courageous. He approaches the woman. He stops and gives himself a minute to calm his nerves. While deciding what he will say to the woman, he takes a few breaths. He makes up his mind and introduces himself. This is the conversation:
Man: "Hey, I'm 'Fill in the Blank.'
Woman: " Hi. How are you? Enjoying the night?"
Man: "Yeah. I usually go out during my free time. How about you? How are you liking the night?"
Woman: "It's pretty good. Really lively. Do you come here a lot?"
Man: "With my friends from college, usually...."

Do you see how much smoother that was? How it flowed so well, so freely? How it was actually a conversation and not just one person rambling on about themselves? The woman still learned a lot about the man and he, simultaneously, got to know her a little. So, to sum it up, don't good quality vomit all over a potential love interest. Stop, breathe and think. And just as a side note:  do not use alcohol to give you confidence. It makes you look sloppy. You become the bar clown instead of a dating candidate.

Well, this is the end of the first week of my little mini series. I hope you all enjoyed it! Also, there was one more thing I wanted to add in quickly. These tips can apply to women, as well. It's about to be 2014 peeps. Women approach men now, too. So, ladies, if you want to talk to that hot guy at work, maybe my tips can help. :) Until next time!

Your Turn: Have you ever been grocery listed? Have you ever been word vomited on? What did you think of my tips? Do you have any tips to share? I wanna hear from you guys!